When is a sport not actually a sport? Some may argue that if it’s judged, it’s not a sport. Though that argument works for cheerleading or gymnastics, which I personally dismiss as hobbies, I have a hard time eliminating boxing from true sport contention. Other may argue that a sport merely involves physical activity and a winner and a loser. I can’t say for sure what should or should not classify something as a sport. Now I know this next statement might strike a chord with some of my fellow Meaty Lasagna writers, but after seeing Tony Stewart’s picture on the front page of the sports section today, a light bulb went off in my head. I have to go out on a limb here and say that neither golf nor car racing are sports.

“How stupid are you?” is something Bryan and Eisy are thinking right now. I know I know, golf is really really hard. I would know that if I played once in a while. Well, I have played before, and I do agree that it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever physically had to do. However, just because something is difficult, doesn’t make it a sport. Quantum physics is difficult but I don’t see Nike putting out a lab coat with a swoosh on it.

How can I take something seriously as a sport when some of the most recognized faces in the sport have to worry about bra sizes. I hate diminishing the accomplishments of Tiger Woods, being as he is one of the most recognizable faces in the world, but at the same time, Paris Hilton gets recognized a lot too. How physically demanding can golf be when you can smoke a cigar and drink a beer while you participate. My verdict? Golf is an extraordinarily difficult hobby, but I can’t call it a sport.

Same goes for car racing. Dangerous? Yes. Sport? No. Sorry Tony Stewart, sorry Jeff Gordon, but you sit in a chair for three hours and turn left at high speeds. I will call you stunt men. Not athletes. I can turn left at high speeds too. In fact, I do it almost every day. Unfortunately, no laundry detergent or insurance company wants to put their logos on my car. I really can’t figure out why.

So, while I respect golf and auto racing as difficult, fun, and sometimes dangerous activities, I cannot classify them as sports in my book.  Again, this is my personal book, so if yours read a little differently I can’t say that you’re wrong. I just prefer my athlete high-flying and fast. Not fat and sitting down.